Ballsy Beginnings: Wuthering Hikes

A Quick Intro
Travel blogs, from what I can tell, tend to come from people who are either financed by some organization for feedback or people who have the money to jet-set all around the world on their own dime. But what of the rest of us? Instead of lamenting my lack of fortune or metropolitan attractions, I have decided to start a travel blog that mainly focuses on the various amusements Tennessee offers. The plan is to roam where I can to find interesting little hole-in-the-wall places, businesses and sights that are unique to where I am. What makes this travel blog different than others is that I'm not selling anything. I have no motivation to be anything but honest about the places that I go, and I'm not getting paid to endorse any venues. I'm broke, just like I figure most of my readers are, and so I can be of assistance to all you frugal Tennesseans about things you might want to check out in your area.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are a myriad of undiscovered wonders around here that are worth giving a try. Along with documenting impressions and histories of places, I intend to talk about the people who play a part in maintaining these magical, hidden treasures of Tennessee. Every once in awhile, I do get to leave the state, and rest assured I will make entries about such trips as well. Basically it would be a dream job to be paid to travel around reviewing and learning locations, but right now I'm just a wannabe. This might be my first baby step toward a globe-trotting future and it might not, but either way it will be a blast.

Wuthering Hikes: A Novice's Impression of the Chimney Tops

Above: Something you should definitely not attempt on the Chimney Tops I'm talking about.

The Who:

The jaunty Jesse Turner

The adventurous author (AKA me)

One Mr. Stewart Snailerson (briefly of the party)

The What: An ambitious day hike
The When: A humid, half-cloudy day in May
The Where: "Chimney Tops" in the Great Smoky Mountains
The Why: The question is never "why?" but rather "why the hell not?!" We also would've accepted "to gain a moment's peace in the midst of a beautiful, uncorrupted natural setting."
The How: A bit of gasoline, a lot of caffeine, and some good old-fashioned determination

Let me first say that though I have wanted to do so for years, I have never gone on a true hike before today. Time will tell if it was perhaps a bit too ambitious to choose this particular trail--and by that I mean if I am unable to walk tomorrow, I will know for sure that it was a dumb idea. The Chimney Tops Trail is only about two miles in length, but the terrain is rough and it's an uphill battle all the way, leading to a rock face that must be climbed! The path rises 1,300 feet. One article I read about it said the hike requires "strength and caution." I have to agree whole-heartedly.

Of course, I recommend comfortable clothes and shoes. Have to say, though, be smart. I saw some idiots letting their young daughter hike up in flip-flops. Not only are those kind of shoes bad for a person's legs when doing a lot of walking (not enough support), but they would definitely be dangerous on the steeper parts of the trail where it is already a challenge to keep your footing. I did something very stupid and wore my Reebok Easy-Tone shoes. They magnify the exercise, forcing your muscles to do more work. I wouldn't advise other inexperienced hikers to wear such shoes. I am definitely going to be feeling that tomorrow. And...ouch. I already do. Another thing: eat enough before going. Your body will need it. Of course, bring water, yada yada yada--you're not stupid (or are you?). Now to the actual experience...

THE SIGHTS: The views, needless to say, are amazing. Tennessee is such an awesome place for seeing pure, unadulterated loveliness. Gotta love the Smokies. The trees were very unique. Many of them had extensive, off-the-ground root systems. You can climb up in and around them. It sort of reminded me of the "Fire Swamp" from The Princess Bride. There were scores of rhododendron and azaleas everywhere, several waterfalls, all manner of cutesy little animals like chipmunks and butterflies, and sets of "natural stairs" made up of interestingly-shaped rocks. From the trail, there are several points where you can also see Mount Le Conte and Sugarland Mountain. Of course, as you've seen, there are also interesting characters such as the kindly Mr. Stewart Snailerson to meet and greet if you keep your eyes sometimes on your feet (that was somewhat Dr. Seussical).

THE SOUNDS: All those waterfalls and streams do not leave the ear wanting. I don't know about you guys, but I think running water is really soothing. Then of course, you've got birdsong and the calm rustling of the trees. At one point, someone made a weird noise further up the trail. It sounded like yodeling. So naturally, I yodeled back, trying to get a repartee going...and nada. But then as we pressed on, some guy mentioned that he heard my call. haha. So, maybe give it a try, if you like.

THE PEEPS: All sorts of people hike, naturally, but the most numerous group I noted was senior citizens. I have to be honest with you, they out badassed me to the max. They had walking sticks and floppy hats, sure, but according to the few we spoke to, they also had a lot of hiking experience under their belts. A lot of people make it an annual effort to see the Chimneys. They're that beautiful. Quite a few groups we passed were friendly sorts. I got many an encouraging word as I huffed and puffed up the mountain (not like the Big Bad Wolf- I didn't blow and houses down; more like an allergy-stricken dork who's not quite in perfect shape). Everyone wants to see you make it to the tippy-top.

Pictured here: a rendering of the tippy-top (toto.lib.unca.edu)

I'd like to brag about conquering the mountain, but I didn't quite. Since I wasn't really prepared for the difficult trek, I was somewhat tired and shaky once we started climbing the rock. I got about 100 yards shy of the top and resolved to be braver next time (and have grippier footwear). To be honest, it's a terrifying (albeit majestic) view. My aunt told me that the first time she took my mom there, my mom cried at the sight of it, saying "Don't make me do this!" I didn't cry. And I was a champ for a couple of minutes, but then the whole "I'm too young to die!" syndrome kicked in--and I half slid, half crawled down the rock face while cracking jokes at my own expense.

So close, yet so far.

If you'd like to have your own haphazard adventure, you basically just have to drive straight through Gatlinburg to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. There are literally signs everywhere. Here are a couple of other shots along our journey:

Tune in next time for...well, Lord only knows what kind of shenanigans I'll get into by then. Guess you'll just have to wait and see!